Sabtu, 09 Februari 2013

The Fact of Being 22

Its weird how simple question can bugging you for a whole week. And my "bugging question" of the week is... "Am I in the age that too old to having fun and too young too have serious issue?"

It's happen when i was in so called "hipster" event Love Garage (i only came because they had Yeah yeah yeahs as their main performance. And Karen O was... what polite people would said... not disappointed) and meet this so called "bule's" (causcasian, handsome, tall, maybe early thirty, smell like beer, and swear a lot... typically "bule Indonesia"), we talked and he offered us (me and my friend who remain as jjjjaaaii) a drink, a took a zip nothing so suspicious until he asked me:
"He, how old are you?"| "me? twenty two"| "Wow, too old"| "WHAAT!"| "Haha, nothing"
And the conversation started looks like interogation
"well, no we just ask," said one of them with stupid laugh.

So, after that night. After a whole week without get "heart rushed text" i challenge myself to ask some acquaintance about stuff. Stuff like married (i don't know, i like talking about that with random guys. i think that what makes them creeping out of me. Well, whatever, i'm talking and planning and dreaming about married every since i were so young)
"Gila yaa, ini jodoh belum keliatan jugaaa"| "Hahaha, emang umur lo berapa sih Git?" | "dua dua" | "Yaelah, masih muda, santai aja!"
Am I  looks like not "santai aja"? Well, i try ones, in very "hipster-y" place, with very YOLO people, and they were think i'm too old for "santai aja".
 
Am I too over reacting about this? Yes.
Am I over reacting act are unreasonable? No.
So, i do little research about this 22 things.
Well, clearly Taylor Swift is suggesting to "dresses like a hipster and making fun of our exes" (well, i dress like middle age woman and don't have that much of exes that i can make fun... actually telling people that i don't have that much of exes that might give people an idea to makes fun of me!!)

Some catalogue said something how stupid being twenties with very wise and clear:
"Being in your twenties is all about discovering which things hurt you and what makes you feel good. You go in blindly, practically pricking yourself with a dull blade, and then you walk out with tougher skin. One day you’ll stop pricking yourself altogether. Maybe. I don’t know. How would I? I’m just a twentysomething, remember?"

but i let my brain bussy with keep reading this cool article (read them in here: http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/why-being-in-your-20s-is-awesome/)  and i found this awesome statement, the statement why i ended up with their site, the statement why i writing this post:

It’s important to talk about why your twenties are great because it seems like we spend so much of our time wanting to be somewhere else other than where we are.
As twentysomethings, we’re constantly moving — apartments, relationship, cities, jobs. Anything is possible. People are ready for you. They want to hear what you have to say. They look at you and are curious about what words are going to come out of your mouth. You’re the new generation.

and yes. It's true.
And then i just realize. As twentysomething there is nothing that i can't do, well, actually there is a lot, but if i ended up doing that, is because i do that with full of responsibility. 
Age of twenty two is the age of no definition being too old or too young. The age of twentysomething is the age of the age move on. Age of twenty is very confusing time of event. Tweentysomething people definitely not a teenager but they act like one. Age of twentysomething is the age of other eyes is see and judge and make their own conclusion about our future while we have to struggle with our own issue, our own moment, our Twenty.

I want to remember the fear, I want to remember the promise, I want to remember the nights I wanted to curl up in a ball, I want to remember the people I’m not supposed to remember, I want to remember not knowing myself, I want to remember the moment I started to feel safe and like this life I’m leading is really mine. I’m going to be scared, I’m going to bruise my knees and not know how they got there, I’m going to try to fruitlessly forge a connection with someone who won’t ever get it, I’m going to lose the person that means the most to me and find my way back to them.

And for all my acquaintance, friends, remain as friends, best friend, lover, ex lover, stalker, the one whom might know i've been stalked to, weirdo, all my twentysomething pals, all the people who born (expected or unexpectedly) in the middle of 80's to 90's, here we are, with our selfish and absurd way of think, we came and messed up, we fuck*d up, only to know where we should be, what makes us happy, before we say hello to another stranger and say "I'm Thirty" with full of disappointed feeling.


Just for fun, "When i said i am twenty two"

What older boys think about me:


What older girls think about me:


What my HRD or bosses think about me:

What parents think about me:

What academic staff see me:

what i think about me:

well... the actually the perfect combination above that!

hahaahah

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