Kamuuuu... Kamuuuu....

Bintang di hatiiiikuuuuu
at least lagu itu yang paling saya inget dari roadshow skul tu skul majalah ini.

Don't cry, don't be shy, kamu cantik apa adanya
semua lagu itu dengan suara cowok melengking yang manis di dengar.

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sekarang saya lagi di Samarinda,
enggak punya cukup mood untuk nulis,
enggak punya cukup ngantuk untuk tidur,
dan enggak punya cukup hati untuk ngelanjutin main line pop,

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"orang dayak itu baik-baik kok, cuman dia memang orang yang sangat memegang janji. Kalau ada yang ngelanggar janji sama dia, ya banyak akibatnya"
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Menik......matiii hujan
Menik...ah muda
Menik....iam dari belakang
Menik...mesra
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I'm awake when i sleep
I'm die when i alive
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sun bright like a diamond
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"25 tahun waktunya untuk serius ya"
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I DON'T KNOW HOW TO RESPOND THAT

"Umur se kamu mah Tante udah nikah"

"Emang kamu mau jadi apa sih ampe mesti kuliah ampe S2?"

HRD: "Punya rencana menikah dalam waktu satu sampai dua tahun mendatang?"

"Pilih punya pacar Cong apa pacar Wota?"

(The boy that i'm not interested in): "Kapan dong aku boleh main lagi ke rumah kamu?"

Heidi (Future Daughter): "Mama aku boleh ikut audisi Idol Group ini enggak?"

"emang kamu maunya apa sih Git?" 

Hari Itu Hari Kamis Empat Belas Februari

Enggak seperti malam Valentine sebelumnya. 14 Februari kali ini saya rayakan dengan cara yang lebih mengenaskan lagi. Yaitu dengan "bekerja". Tapi karena pekerjaan saya menyenangkan. Malam Valentine kali ini bisa saya sebut dengan malam "mengenaskan yang menyenangkan".

14 Februari bagi cewek seusia saya selalu dirayakan dengan tiga cara, either mereka ngabisin malam romantis dengan pacar, atau adiknya pacar, atau orang tuanya pacar, atau pacar gelapnya pacar, pokoknya dilalui dengan romantis or mereka ngabisin waktunya untuk diri sendiri, makan sendiri, nonton sendiri, baca buku sendiri, bengong di taksi sendiri, pokoknya sibuk di kesendiriannya deh! Dan beberapa yang lainnya merasa asyik bermain dengan temannya. Ramai-ramai merayakan betapa sucks nya hidup sebagai single di usia dua puluh tahunan. Sedangkan saya, tepat berada di irisan paling kecil dan aneh dari ketiga diagram venn tersebut merayakan malam Valentine tahun ini dengan bekerja, meliput penampilan sebuah idol grup dari Jepang cabang Jakarta. Dan menurut saya 14 Februari lalu adalah malam paling aneh untuk saya.

Bukan karena saya single ataupun alasan lainnya. Malam itu cukup "aneh" untuk dikenang karena saya dalam keadaan yang cukup awkward. Karena 14 Februari pada Kamis malam lalu tepat di mingu pertengahan saya akan meninggalkan rutinitas saya. Valentine kali ini adalah hari yang menunjukkan kalau perjalanan saya menuju akhir rutinitas ini tinggal setengah lagi. Sisi melankolis saya enggak sanggup untuk enggak cukup perhatian dengan hal itu. Tapi syukurlah saya bisa menghabiskan malam Valentine itu dengan salah satu teman kantor saya... yang kalau saya perhatikan sama anehnya sama saya. He-he-he.

Layaknya ngobrol dengan teman-teman saya lainnya, setiap saya ngobrol sama anak ini percakapan kita selalu loncat-loncatan kemana kemari yang ujung-ujungnya berakhir kemasalah perjodohan.

"Gw enggak ngerti deh Git kenapa sih lo kayak kebelet banget harus punya cowok? Emang lo segitu penginnya nikah ya?"

"Gw sih yakin semua orang itu udah ada jodohnya"

"Dan gw sebenernya enggak terlalu gimana sih ama orang yang cinta-cintaan banget. Gw sih geli lho ngeliatnya. Gw mungkin nanti nikah sama orang yang yaudah emang kita sama pengin berumah tangga"

"Enggak tahu deh, mungkin 10 tahun lagi kali gw baru nikah"

Sebagai orang yang sangat overly attached dengan salah satu kata di film test pack : "Kita nikah bukan karena anak kan neng? Kita nikah karena kita saling cinta" (pokoknya kira-kira begitulah. Itu saya anggap keren banget karena saya ngelihat gimana nikah itu perjanjian sehidup semati, saling jatuh hati satu sama lain udah jadi harga mati.)

Di otak saya, kalau kalian bisa sama-sama ngeliatnya, ada ratusan bahkan ribuan adegan cinta yang diam-diam saya harapkan jadi salah satu adegan saya nantinya. 

Emang sulit sih di era teknologi dan social media yang merajalela saat ini mengharapkan satuuu aja adegan cinta itu terwujud. Generasi saya saat ini emang lack of romance and intimacy. Generasi saya generasi yang bisa sayang lewat percakapan di tab mention Twitter. Generasi saya meresmikan hubungannya dari realtionship status nya di Facebook. Generasi saya bisa menerima perhatian dari kata-kata manis dan sayang di messenger. 

Walaupun begitu saya masih yakin sih kalau ada sebagian kecil dari generasi saya yang berusaha keras merangkai kalimat jadi surat untuk orang yang kasihi. Generasi saya masih ada yang pontang panting, jatuh bangun, buat orang yang dicintainya juga jatuh hati. Dan keyakinan saya yang membuat saya terus berekspektasi dengan adegan-adegan goofy romantic milik saya nanti. Mengutip kata-kata seorang komedian Youtube, Ryan Higa: 

"when you find the one that you really in love with, every expectation became reality"

So, please, don't give up people! 

The Fact of Being 22

Its weird how simple question can bugging you for a whole week. And my "bugging question" of the week is... "Am I in the age that too old to having fun and too young too have serious issue?"

It's happen when i was in so called "hipster" event Love Garage (i only came because they had Yeah yeah yeahs as their main performance. And Karen O was... what polite people would said... not disappointed) and meet this so called "bule's" (causcasian, handsome, tall, maybe early thirty, smell like beer, and swear a lot... typically "bule Indonesia"), we talked and he offered us (me and my friend who remain as jjjjaaaii) a drink, a took a zip nothing so suspicious until he asked me:

"He, how old are you?"| "me? twenty two"| "Wow, too old"| "WHAAT!"| "Haha, nothing"

And the conversation started looks like interogation

"well, no we just ask," said one of them with stupid laugh.

So, after that night. After a whole week without get "heart rushed text" i challenge myself to ask some acquaintance about stuff. Stuff like married (i don't know, i like talking about that with random guys. i think that what makes them creeping out of me. Well, whatever, i'm talking and planning and dreaming about married every since i were so young)

"Gila yaa, ini jodoh belum keliatan jugaaa"| "Hahaha, emang umur lo berapa sih Git?" | "dua dua" | "Yaelah, masih muda, santai aja!"

Am I  looks like not "santai aja"? Well, i try ones, in very "hipster-y" place, with very YOLO people, and they were think i'm too old for "santai aja".

 

Am I too over reacting about this? Yes.

Am I over reacting act are unreasonable? No.

So, i do little research about this 22 things.

Well, clearly Taylor Swift is suggesting to "dresses like a hipster and making fun of our exes" (well, i dress like middle age woman and don't have that much of exes that i can make fun... actually telling people that i don't have that much of exes that might give people an idea to makes fun of me!!)

Some catalogue said something how stupid being twenties with very wise and clear:

"Being in your twenties is all about discovering which things hurt you and what makes you feel good. You go in blindly, practically pricking yourself with a dull blade, and then you walk out with tougher skin. One day you’ll stop pricking yourself altogether. Maybe. I don’t know. How would I? I’m just a twentysomething, remember?"

but i let my brain bussy with keep reading this cool article (read them in here: http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/why-being-in-your-20s-is-awesome/)  and i found this awesome statement, the statement why i ended up with their site, the statement why i writing this post:

It’s important to talk about why your twenties are great because it seems like we spend so much of our time wanting to be somewhere else other than where we are.

As twentysomethings, we’re constantly moving — apartments, relationship, cities, jobs. Anything is possible. People are ready for you. They want to hear what you have to say. They look at you and are curious about what words are going to come out of your mouth. You’re the new generation.

and yes. It's true.

And then i just realize. As twentysomething there is nothing that i can't do, well, actually there is a lot, but if i ended up doing that, is because i do that with full of responsibility. 

Age of twenty two is the age of no definition being too old or too young. The age of twentysomething is the age of the age move on. Age of twenty is very confusing time of event. Tweentysomething people definitely not a teenager but they act like one. Age of twentysomething is the age of other eyes is see and judge and make their own conclusion about our future while we have to struggle with our own issue, our own moment, our Twenty.

I want to remember the fear, I want to remember the promise, I want to remember the nights I wanted to curl up in a ball, I want to remember the people I’m not supposed to remember, I want to remember not knowing myself, I want to remember the moment I started to feel safe and like this life I’m leading is really mine. I’m going to be scared, I’m going to bruise my knees and not know how they got there, I’m going to try to fruitlessly forge a connection with someone who won’t ever get it, I’m going to lose the person that means the most to me and find my way back to them.

And for all my acquaintance, friends, remain as friends, best friend, lover, ex lover, stalker, the one whom might know i've been stalked to, weirdo, all my twentysomething pals, all the people who born (expected or unexpectedly) in the middle of 80's to 90's, here we are, with our selfish and absurd way of think, we came and messed up, we fuck*d up, only to know where we should be, what makes us happy, before we say hello to another stranger and say "I'm Thirty" with full of disappointed feeling.

Just for fun, "When i said i am twenty two"

What older boys think about me:

What older girls think about me:

What my HRD or bosses think about me:

What parents think about me:

What academic staff see me:

what i think about me:

well... the actually the perfect combination above that!

hahaahah

I HATE IT! SHE ALWAYS RIGHT!

"I want to be journalist"| "no, you just want to get attention"
"Mom, i got a job"| "you wont survive"
"I think i like him" | "yeah, like for 5 minutes?"
"I hate this dress" | "you look pretty in that dress"
"I hate when you are right, Mom!" | "you know what, sometimes i hate it too"

She is not kind of Mom who always say something nice about you, and make you sing a happy song with her.
She kind of women who want to make you proof yourself, that you can be better and stronger.
And when you failed yourself, she always come and pick at your worst with "happy face"
Face that tell "please, there is nothing to regret"





and then that face tell







"see, i was right, right?"

Interesting Feeling

Daughter: "Mom, i feel sad"
Mom: "Because of the position you never applied and the job you never like dump you?"
Daughter: *silent for a moment* "hmmm...yeah..."
Mom: *nodding sarcastically* "interesting feeling"